I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
