i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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