No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....