just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.