im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dont even know how to be here
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
