Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
