A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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