Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
