like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
