I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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