She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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