why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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