In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I touched a dick in church today
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