So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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