we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you just see the Batmobile???
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
