you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
