why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
