I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
