She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
