Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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