Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love having hate sex.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
