Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
