I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
