What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
