I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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