so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
