chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize