Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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