my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Houston, we have a blender
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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