Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize