I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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