Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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