He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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