Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize