Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
