Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
