Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
