I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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