Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Congratulations! We have a period
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