i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My ATM looks so different sober.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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