I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
