The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
