i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
