Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
