your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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