Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
