I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
nutella sex= disaster
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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