we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
