Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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