i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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