New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
