If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
