I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i will never coherently bang her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
