Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
