if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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