Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
