I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
