Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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