Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
