people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
