So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
