I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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