drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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