at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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