Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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