Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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