Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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