You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize