He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
wow bdsm is so cute
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
